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| wow it's so weird coming back to xanga and reading all these old posts, private and public. i can't believe xanga used to run our lives, that'd we start drama and fights and even relationships based on what people wrote on their xangas or wrote on ours.
anyway, this resurrection is going to be short lived. i'm only here to bid fare thee well to xanga, and return a favor to a good friend of mine, so if you're reading this, kathy tsou, this one's for you.
i'm thankful for non-alcoholic w(h)ine at the beach
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| so, me and the missus just had a "discussion" and i guess i got a lot
to let off my chest. not about her or me, or about anything in
particular that we talked about...just some random mushy shit in
general. like, where has the time gone? i feel like im
about to graduate not only from high school but my whole life, like
college is a whole new life and a whole new me. i was reminiscing
with a particular friend at the aloha dance (which was awesome, by the
way) about our relationship from elementary school til now, and my eyes
started to feel all moist and i got a funny feeling in my stomach
halfway through dancing with her. im usually not a sentimental
guy...i dont think any of my friends, not even christine, have ever
seen me cry except a handful of church people who've seen me get my ass
beat by my brother. but i dont know...we werent even talking
about anything sad, just happy memories from the past and i started to
tear up a little. i guess everyone's feelin a little bit, cuz in
the end after "graduation" played everyone walked around hugging and
cryin and stuff (i'd stopped by then). i feel like i've wasted my
last year at lynbrook doin too many things that didn't matter and
neglecting the things or people that really do. i guess now that
schools officially over and all im waiting for now is grad, i feel this
sense of impending doom. In just five days i'll graduate, say my
goodbyes, and possibly never again see the people that helped shape my
life these last 18 years, particularly the past 4. yet there's
still so much i want to do, things i want to see, and memories that i
want to make, all with these very same people. I always had this
expectation that as a senior everything would be right; i'd like
everybody and everybody would like me, that my relationship with God,
my parents, and my girlfriend would be at its best, and that i'd be a
happy and content little bastard. not the case in all of
these. but whatever, too late to do anything else but regret it
now.
the one thing that bothers me the most is when people are given second
chances after they mess up, yet end up exactly the same. i could
never understand that; here you are, picked up onto your feet by the
grace of God or fate or luck, whichever you choose to believe, and yet
you waste the goodness you've been given and go and screw yourself over
yet again, in the same manner as before. i've always thought that
people like these are hopeless, that they've wasted their life and have
pissed away all the hope that others hold for them. yet talking
to christine today i've realized that i've become one of these
people. i've been offered so many second chances all along my
life, and each time i fail. In a sense, i've become the same
people whom i think are just a wasting my air. i guess thats why
while i am extremely nostalgic and want to hold on to my high school
life and friends, i also am really looking foward to college. i see it
as the ultimate second chance, where my slate is wiped clean of my
past. of course, it doesnt help that half of lynbrook will be
going with me to ucsd next year.
not really my typical kind of entry, and not particularly deep
either. probably just a big waste of time for both you and
me. but whatever, this entry has served its purpose because now
my mind is blank and i can go to sleep. night.
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|  
finally a new phone. i've had the crappiest phone in my entire family for 2 years...even my grandma had one better than me.
plays mp3s, take pics n vids, records sounds, and its got a nifty blue tooth headset.
woke up at 6 to go to best buy, didnt even buy anything cept a new lcd monitor.
i think i gained about 5 pounds just from dinners alone this weekend. hot pot wednesday, thanksgiving thursday, bucca di beppo friday, pot roast saturday, mchart's pizza sunday. ahh, too much good stuff.
finished my uc apps, which was cool.
still, the weekend sucked because im sick as hell and i didnt have any time to see

this girl. (sophomore year)
random as hell entry, im sorry. must be the fever and the meds | | |
| mm so i figured i'd put these up for all em honor choir kids like yosuke, ann, sonya, and josephine who called me like 3 times to ask me how "it" was going.

the signs
there were two in each of her classrooms

like so
then i had people standing on top of the quad holding em at lunch. joyce lee went off and blindfolded christine and led her to the quad.

i was nervous

sarah (will)

edwin (you)

christina (go)

larry (to)

christina liao (formal)

steph teng (with) ahahah look she's so into it

(this guy)
chen and eric wang were holding the "princess pao" banner behind me, but there are no pics of them, sorry =/. needless to say, the people that helped me make the posters felt rather strongly about what the banner said.
after joyce and emma lead the blindfolded princess into the quad, i got on the mike and asked her to formal. her answer was.

damn, that sucks.

haha jp.
yeaaaa all in a good days work. thanks a lot to louise, bora, mel, mike, diana and sarah, who pretty much made everything for me, due to my lack of artistic skills. of course, the parrish twins and piercy deserve credit for watching. thanks to all my great sign holders too: steph teng, christinas liao and ting, eric, sarah, larry, chen, edwin, who had to put up with my anal directions and waited through the first 5 minutes of club day with me.
a special thanks to julie who took all em pictures for me 
and of course, thanks, christine, for saying yes.
yeapp, formals comin soon. start asking your dates, boys AND girls.
afterwards tim, chris, larry, and myself took a lot of gay pictures involving no shirts, "teats," and some boobie grabbing. sorry, but those arent comin up.
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| am i more of a man when i fight back.
or a better one when i just take the hits. | | |
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